2010

     It's New years Eve! Wow, it's really hard to believe that 2010 is already coming to a close.  Looking back I have realized how great this year has really been, although there were both good and bad times I wouldn't trade those moments for anything.  I believe it's time to reflect on the past year. 

     Let's start out with a little background information. In November of 2009 I met this boy, at the time it was amazing. He ended being my first boyfriend. I thought we were meant to be, but it turns out he didn't. In March 2010 our relationship ended. Now looking back I am really glad I got to experience the sadness that came along with this. From the lyrics of Sheryl Crow, "The first cut is the deepest".  I kept myself sane by listening to music, and keeping my friends close. Sooner than I thought, I began to try to move on because I knew it just wasn't meant to be. Looking back I am so thankful for this because I now have someone in my life who I can't picture living without but you will hear about him a little bit later. 

     My friend Lindsay was there with me through everything I had been through.  She came over every time I felt lonely, or when I just need someone there. She sat with me as I laughed at the good times and cried about the bad. I really want to thank her for how helpful she has been, not only this last year but the last 4 years. We have our tough times, but we always come through and it's nice to have a best friend like her. 

     I started out the year "looking" for a job, truth is I didn't really want one. Then my family started getting angry with me because I was being lazy. Well, I went out and found a job! That was a huge part of my year. And now that I have a job I actually like it. I have started making money and it feels good to be more independent. 

     Well, April came along and I was spending a lot of time with Lindsay, at the time she was dating a guy named Matt and I started hanging out with them more as time went on. It turns out Matt had a best friend who, I didn't know at the time, was going to change my life. As I look back I am so thankful for everything that happened in my past because it led me to the person I can honestly say makes me happy. "God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you." Rascal Flatts says it best, that's exactly how I feel right now. I can say after 8 months of dating, I am truly in love with this guy. He is everything I have ever wanted, and more. Right now,  I can't picture my life without him. I know most of you are thinking 'Lauren you are crazy, you've only been dating for 8 months.' Truth is I'm okay with all of you thinking that. I have also learned other peoples opinions don't matter in a relationship, because "This love is ours". Wow I guess I feel like quoting many musicians today.  Dylan, you are my life, and I love you. 

     Time went on, as June approached I was definitely nervous but mainly excited for my future.  I was a senior in high school and I didn't want it to end. Well it did, my high school years ended. It was summer time and I was living it up. I truly don't regret anything that summer. It was the best summer I had ever had. Working, hanging out with friends, and spending time with my boyfriend.

     August, August what do I say about you? You were definitely good to me. I was so scared to start college. I wasn't sure how I would handle work and school. It was a challenge at first but I got used to it and everything worked out. I love college, for those of you reading this who aren't quite in college yet, let me tell you, it's awesome. 

     I continued to go to school and work, the semester ended, I got my  first 4.0 since 7th grade. Ahhhh it felt so good to be done with my first semester of college.

     Right now I want to take the time to thank some of my other friends. Natalie, I love you :) You make me sooooo happy and you are the best friend anyone could ever ask for.  I know we don't get to see each other all that much, but you are really one of the best friends I have ever had. I hope in this next year that we can see each other more!!! <3 Gabby!! You and I go way back, 2nd grade to be exact. We have once again become close over the past year. While you have been going through some tough times I want you to know I love you and you deserve the best... Just remember that <3.

     The holidays soon approached and I got to spend some time with family which I hadn't done for a while. I really enjoyed the time I got to spend with them, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. 

     Now, I am in Tahoe spending time with my dad. It has been a really fun trip, but I am excited to go home and start the new year. 

    Thank you 2010 for everything, but all I can say is, 

Hello 2011 :)

     

Wow.

It's been quite a long time since I have blogged... About a week or so?
     Well, a lot has happened this past week. Christmas has come and gone. It was such a fun time with family and friends :) Although I had to work, the family time after was well worth the wait.  I can't tell you all how much it meant to me to have that time with my family.
     On the 27th I left for my trip to visit my dad who lives in South Lake Tahoe. So far the trip has been a blast. It's pretty cold, something I am definitely not used to since I am from sunny Southern California. But the change has been a great one. This morning we were actually greeted with this lovely scenery...

     While we were sleeping a storm came through and covered the whole town with a quite large white blanket of snow, and this also caused the electricity to go out and it's still actually out in parts of town as the snow continues to come down. It is a brisk 28 degrees outside and let me tell you, that's cold.
     I miss everyone from home though, a lot. Part of me can't wait to be home...

<3

I'm in a Music Kind of Mood

"Stand"-Rascal Flatts

"You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless, like you've lost your fight
But you'll be alright, you'll be alright

‘Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend ‘til you break
‘Cause it's all you can take

On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand, then you stand

Life's like a novel with the end ripped out
The edge of a canyon with only one way down
Take what you're given before it's gone
And start holdin' on, keep holdin' on

‘Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend ‘til you break
‘Cause it's all you can take

On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand, yeah, then you stand

Every time you get up
And get back in the race
One more small piece of you
Starts to fall into place, yeah

‘Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend ‘til you break
‘Cause it's all you can take

Yeah, then you stand
Yeah, baby
Woo hoo, woo hoo
Woo hoo, woo hoo
Then you stand, yeah yeah"

Dear Winter Break,

I must say I love you very much.
Love,
Lauren


<3

Blah.

Long day of work... Soooo tired.

Goodnight <3

Ours.

"Elevator buttons and morning air, 
Strangers silence makes me wanna take the stairs. 
If you were here we'd laugh about their vacant stares, 
But right now my time is theirs. 
Seems like there's always someone who disapproves. 
They'll judge it like they know about me and you 
And the verdict comes from those with nothing else to do 
The jury's out, but my choice is you. 

So don't you worry your pretty little mind, 
People throw rocks at things that shine 
and life makes love look hard. 
The stakes are high, the water's rough 
But this love is ours. 

You never know what people have up their sleeves, 
Ghosts from your past gonna jump out at me. 
Lurking in the shadows with their lipgloss smiles, 
But I don't care. 
Cause right now you're mine. 
And you'll say 

Don't you worry your pretty little mind, 
People throw rocks at things that shine 
and life makes love look hard. 
The stakes are high, the water's rough 
But this love is ours. 

And it's not theirs to speculate if it's wrong and 
Your hands are tough but they are where mine belong in. 
I'll fight their doubt and give you faith with this song for you. 

Cause I love the gap between your teeth 
and I love the riddles that you speak. 
And any snide remarks from my father about your tattoos will be ignored 
Cause my heart is yours. 

So don't your worry your pretty little mind, 
People throw rocks at things that shine 
And life makes love look hard. 
Don't worry your pretty little mind, 
People throw rocks at things that shine 
But they can't take what's ours 
They can't take what's ours 
The stakes are high, the water's rough 
But this love is ours."

I'm Fearless.

Well, it's 4:00 and it's looking like it's going to rain. I can not tell you how much I love this weather.... Anyway's, today I feel like I can take on the world. I don't know what it is but I am definitely loving this.


Obviously, you have probably figured this out, I have been quite emotional lately.
I don't know why, yesterday I was completely sad and today I'm Fearless. Ahhh I love this.


Fearless: without fear; bold or brave; intrepid.


Interesting definition, okay not that interesting but I thought I would share :)


"And I don't know why but with you I'd dance in a storm in my best dress, fearless."


<3

Sad.

I really have no idea why, but I am very sad all of a sudden.  Nothing really went terribly wrong, I'm just sad.

I hate when this happens, I'd say it happens every few weeks, but I feel like I am doing something wrong by feeling this way.  Some people say you have to have a reason to be sad... I completely disagree. Sometimes I just feel gloomy for no reason.

Blah.

I finally made Christmas cookies though, that was fun :)

I think I will go read to keep my mind off of things.

<3

I hate skipping days :(

I really wish I would write on this everyday. I am making it a goal to do just that. From now on I WILL write on this everyday :)

Well, I haven't made Christmas cookies yet, but my boyfriend and I are going to tomorrow. I am excited.

I must say I really like not having school.  That means I can work more :) I have a few more hours a week which means I will have a somewhat bigger paycheck, that's always nice.

I and work this morning and I am awfully tired,  I think I am going to take a little nap after this.

For all of you out there that have finals this week, I wish you the best of luck. I am sure you will do great! :)

Alright, I am going to go take a nap.
I will talk to you later.

<3

Today :)

Where should I start?? It has already been an AWESOME day, to say the least. 

I finished my super easy final early and guess what that means?!?! I HAVE NOW COMPLETED MY FIRST SEMESTER OF COLLEGE! AHHHHHH! :D

So, I got home and as I walked through the door I was greeted by two furry animals.  We are pet sitting two of the most adorable dogs ever, and they are just two bundles of joy, let me tell you. They are very hyper and like to jump around all over the place. I still love them though :) 

The above picture is what I titled, "Our Christmas Card", aren't they just adorable. Abby, who obviously likes to get really close to the computer screen, and Bella, who likes to sleep on my lap after an exhausting five minutes of picture taking. 

Ahhh I love them. Well, my mom, sister, and I are going to take Christmas pictures tonight. That should be fun. Then my boyfriend is coming over and we are making Christmas cookies. YUMMM. I'm very excited. 

I am sure you will all hear about it tonight. 

<3 I hope you have an amazing day. (Since I can't exactly say goodnight at 11:20 AM)

Well!

Another day has come and passed... it's been quite a long one!

OH! No cavities!! :D AND I finished my first 10 page paper ever!

I feel quite accomplished.

Sorry my blogs haven't as long the past couple of days... I promise tomorrows will be longer.

Goodnight everyone <3

Goodnight :)

Goodnight everyone!  I have now completed 3 of my 4 finals. Only one more, I can not wait to be finished with all of this.

  I have to go to the dentist tomorrow :( I am definitely not looking forward to that. i hope everyone had a wonderful day.

Watching some "Home Alone 2" then I am off to bed.

<3

Love.

I want to start by saying I'm sorry I didn't blog yesterday. There was way too much going on with finals and everything. I am here now though, and trust me I am ready to pour my heart and soul into this blog.

I have learned so many new things about myself these past few days. One of the main new findings is how much of an emotional person I am. Unfortunately, it almost took me almost losing someone very important in my life to figure it out.

These past few days I have felt a whirl wind of emotions, happy, sad, angry, hurt, and lastly betrayed.  Now, more than ever, is when I feel the need to express myself, and of course I don't know how. I will try my best though. Here it goes...

Have you ever felt as if your whole world has come crashing down in a matter of minutes?  If you haven't I hope you never have to live through the pain. I have, unfortunately.  I always try to keep a smile on my face and remember everything will turn out fine, but these last few days I haven't been able to.

I hate arguing with the people in my life I love. That's one thing that I avoid doing at all costs, however, I couldn't hold it in any longer. The pain inside of me was hurting me so much, I just lost it. Tonight was that time for me to lose control of everything and just let it all out.  I honestly don't think I have ever cried as much as I just did. But really I don't think crying is such a bad thing to do. I don't know about you guys, but after crying I feel much better. It's like I am taking everything built up inside of me and just letting it out.

This was a time to just explain to someone how everything has hurt me.  While he probably knew I just felt the need to get it out one last time.  Doing that was not the smartest move. Now looking back it seems like I am dwelling on everything, which is probably the case, but for myself I needed to do this. (It feels very selfish of me to say that.)

That takes me to another point, I don't know what it is about me but every time something happens I don't care about the pain I have to endure, as long as the other person is happy.  I realize now that's not the best way to think, but I just don't want anyone else to have to feel what I just did.

So to the person who I just lost myself in front of, I know you are reading this, I want you to know you mean the world to me.  I wouldn't put so much into a relationship if I didn't have feelings for you. Everything I ever do revolves around you and I never want to lose this feeling. I love you.

After getting all of this out, blogging I mean, I feel so much better about the situation I am currently in.

To those of you reading this I want to thank you for the support. Even taking the time to read how my day is going/went means the world to me.

I also would like to thank my friend Gabby for everything she has done for me. She has been my savior these last few days and I don't know where I would be without you.

And one last thing, to my boyfriend, thank you for being there when I need you most. I know this isn't the right way to thank someone but I figured while I am on here I might as well. You honestly have no idea how much everything you do for me keeps me going everyday. Lastly, I want you to know I would do anything for you, and I hope you now are starting to see how I am feeling inside.

That's it for tonight. I think it's time to go to sleep. GOODNIGHT EVERYONE! <3

1 AM

Well, here I am again. It's almost 1 O'clock and I am laying on my bed, with freezing feet might I add, listening to the rain fall outside my window.  For some reason, I don't know what it is, this weather gets me thinking about so much. Right now I can't stop thinking about when I was younger.

There is a Taylor Swift song that really explains every thought that is popping into my head right now it's called "Never Grow Up" and I can't even begin to tell you how much I love it. Well, those of you that know me know I love every Taylor Swift song ever written. She is honestly my hero for so many different reasons. I guess I will share a few reasons why:


Top 5 reasons why I love Taylor Swift  (No specific order)
1. She doesn't seem to let stardom get to her like many other celebrities I have heard of.
2. She seems to have a song written for every single emotion I have ever had.
3. I love how she looks at song writing as being rebellious.
4. She handles difficult situations with a very mature mind set, which I think is one of her most admirable traits...
5. More than anything I love how genuinely kind she is to everyone, including her fans.

Oh, I just got Taylor Sift tickets too! I really believe August 23rd, 2011 will be the greatest day of my life.

If only I could meet her,  now that would honestly be a dream come true.



Never Grow Up (I put my two favorite stanzas in bold)
Your little hands wrapped around my finger
And it's so quiet in the world tonight
Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming
So I tuck you in and turn on your favorite nightlight

To you, everything's funny
You got nothing to regret
I'd give all I have honey
If you could stay like that

Oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
Just stay this little
Oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
It could stay this simple
I won't let nobody hurt you
Wont let no one break your heart
No one will desert you
Just try to never grow up
Never grow up

You're in the car on the way to the movies
And you're mortified your mom's dropping you off
At 14, there's just so much you can't do
And you can't wait to move out
Someday and call your own shots

But don't make her drop you off around the block
Remember she's getting older too
And don't lose the way that you dance around in your PJs getting ready for school

Oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
Just stay this little
Oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
It could stay this simple
No one's ever burned
Nothing's ever left you scarred
Even though you want to, just try to never grow up

Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room
Memorize what is sounded like what your dad gets home
Remember the footsteps, remember the words said
And all your little brother's favorite songs
I just realized everything I had is someday gonna be gone

So here I am in my new apartment
In a big city, they just dropped me off
It's so much colder than I thought it would be
So I tuck myself in and turn my nightlight on

Wish I'd never grown up
I wish I'd never grown up
Oh I don't wanna grow up
Wish I'd never grown up
Could still be little
Oh I don't wanna grow up
It could still be simple

Oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
Just stay this little
Oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
It could stay this simple
Won't let nobody hurt you
Won't let no one break your heat
And even though you want to, please try to never grow up
Don't you ever grow up
Just never grow up


Goodnight <3

Long Day

This has been the longest day ever... Too stressed for finals. EEEEK!!!

Love This...

"What you say might be too much for some people. Maybe it will come out all wrong and you'll stutter and you'll walk away embarrassed, wincing as you play it all back in your head. But I think the words you stop yourself from saying are the ones that will haunt you the longest."-Taylor Swift

I don't really know how to title this one.

Everything has just been turned upside down, and I need to find a way to make everything  right again.  It's going to be really difficult for not only me, but the person I have hurt. I know everything will hopefully workout in the end, it's just going to be a long road to recovery for us.  I am totally for trying to get everything to be the way they used to be, lately I have been wondering if that is even possible for us. Time will only tell.

The song lyric that is holding me together:
"And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears. And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.  Get over your hill and see what you find there, with grace in your heart and flowers in your hair."-Mumford and Sons, "After the Storm"

Listen to it, if you get the chance.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqUsAHTUPTU

Thank you so much for reading this. It's nice to have somewhere to write everything I have been feeling. <3

Hello There!

Well, as you can tell, I decided to create a blog. I just really want to have somewhere to go to express myself and thought 'Hey, what the heck? I might as well create something online'.  So here it is! I hope you enjoy it :)